Getting personal around here...
For the past few weeks I've put to practice what have only been thoughts entertained for the last several months--maybe even the last year. Those thoughts included my personal struggles with the balance of life -- being a wife, a mom, a business owner, a neighbor, a faith seeker, a creative. I'm a natural organizer, keeping lists and calendars and a pressure on myself to do it all and so of course "balance" reigns high. I spoke on this topic back in January at the Alt Summit and shared my view point that balance doesn't really exist. A will to practice good time management does. However, no matter how often we speak on this topic or even schedule everything out, it may just be one of those universal and forever learning curves.
Because our family life is so intertwined with our business life, at times I've wondered how it would be to live more simply without stacks of supplies, product, inventory-- without deadlines, orders, online pressures...but in weighing pros and cons, there is always that reminder that even a simple life may eventually miss that passion. I remember talking with a friend and her explaining that her art and personal need for the creative process actually lent to the chaos in her life, but that particular chaos weighed in a big portion to her sanity. Contradictory maybe, but yet I understood. No matter the hat being worn, things and stuff and schedules and to-do lists will inevitably follow. However, what I always come back to is that we don't need to rid our lives of the things that we love just because we begin to wear a bigger hat, are introduced to a greater love, or need to give more attention to a certain area of our life. For me, that was motherhood. Motherhood is all encompassing and even after 3 years of my practice in it, I was still wondering how to find a greater calm and peace amongst all important facets of my life. So, I decided change was in order. [And I might add that once bringing up this topic with others, I realize we're all in this together feeling very similar feelings.]
Changing my ways started with a good deep conversation, a greater dedication to my spirituality, and taking myself offline and more into reading and being inspired by the written word. Putting my focus into much needed and different areas that I hadn't made top priority has proven to strengthen all the other areas that I had always put first. It's a funny thing isn't it? Our business and our presence online and our errands and our checklists that so naturally yell loudly as top priority may have been faulty all along because a focus on self and self nurturing seem selfish or unnecessary.
Going back to speaking on this topic, one tip I mentioned at Alt was "The Top Metaphor." Summed up, we see ourselves as tops, needing balance on every side in order to stay upright. In our daily lives this may not mean that each area of our life is balanced out, but that we make sure to dip our feet into every important aspect that makes up our day-- trying not to spend too much time in one area. This prevents over consumption and burn out and overall frazzled feelings.
Whether you are a blogger, a parent, a business owner, a writer, an artist, a...... or all of the above, this pulling from all directions can be overwhelming. Sometimes this online world where we can express these feelings that we may not know are being felt around the globe, are just what we need. Although I've realized for quite some time that our normal view of balance is skewed, I hadn't quite conquered the feeling that it was okay to give myself to several areas that I love and not feel guilty about possible deficit. The ironic way of being able to give myself more properly and calmly to all was to focus more on myself.
*Can we have a conversation? I'd love to know your thoughts and ideas and feelings about your daily routines and spreading yourself across a board.
*On a parenting note, I started reading Screamfree Parenting which yes, the young single librarian smirked at when I asked for the book from behind the counter, but it has been the one and only parenting book that I've seemed to connect with and really enjoy. Don't be scared of the title, it's not about parents who yell and scream, although it could be ;) but it's main purpose is to help us as parents live our role in a more relaxed and enjoyable way.
2 comments:
This is all so much apart of my life. We too own a business, but a very different one from yours. But it still is a huge part of our lives. And recently, I have learned to be okay with that. Growing up, my dad had a job he left and came home to. For my kids, their daddy's job never really ends. Phone calls and emails are always a big priority. But I have come to the conclusion that it is good because my kids are seeing us work hard. They are seeing do our best for our family. I never got to see that with my dad.
Whitney, i LOVE this perspective, something I hadn't thought of before. In our case, our child(ren) will always probably offer a helping hand too. Not a bad thing to start early teaching hard work right?
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